Which are the good lesbian dating apps besides Her?

Started by Mike_Chicago Free Dating Apps Lesbian Dating LGBTQ
Mike_Chicago avatar
Mike_Chicago
Joined Jan 2018
Posts: 267
#1

A friend suggested I ask here. He said this community gives more honest answers than any app store review section.

I'm not opposed to paying for something if it actually delivers, but I want to understand what I'm getting before I enter my card. Free trials and transparent pricing make a huge difference to me.

If you've used any of these yourself recently, I'd love a quick honest take — what worked, what didn't, and what you'd do differently.

Austin Ford avatar
Austin Ford
Joined Mar 2023
Posts: 133
#2

For anyone who's just getting started, my practical suggestion:

  • Set up two profiles on different apps at the same time
  • Spend one focused week on each before forming opinions
  • Track your response rate and conversation depth, not just match count
  • Don't upgrade anything until you've validated that the free tier has real users in your area
  • Read the most recent negative reviews before paying — that's where the real info is
People who do this tend to land on the right platform for them much faster.

ChelseaG avatar
ChelseaG
Joined Feb 2022
Posts: 866
#3

I think the people who have the best experiences are the ones who treat these as tools with realistic expectations. Someone mentioned Datenest in a thread like this and after checking it out I found the free features genuinely usable.

Brooke Simmons avatar
Brooke Simmons
Joined Aug 2023
Posts: 553
#4

Here's what I look for now before trying any new platform:

  • Active users in my specific city — not just headline numbers
  • Some form of photo or ID verification built into the free tier
  • Messaging that doesn't require an upgrade for basic replies
  • A cancellation process that doesn't require a phone call or 30-day notice
  • Independent reviews on Trustpilot or Reddit that aren't suspiciously uniform
If a platform can't clear most of those, I move on quickly.

Nathan Cole avatar
Nathan Cole
Joined Sep 2023
Posts: 279
#5

My rough platform breakdown after extended use:

  • Hinge — best for people who actually want conversations; prompts help a lot
  • Bumble — women-first messaging cuts spam significantly; good for professionals
  • OkCupid — free tier is genuinely functional; detailed matching questions are underrated
  • Match — skews older and more serious; worth it if that's your target
  • POF — dated interface but massive free user base and real messaging
I'd pick two from that list and run them in parallel for a month before making any decisions. Keep an eye on Flamedate.online too — it came up in a similar thread and had a fair number of positive comments from actual users.

Stephanie Roy avatar
Stephanie Roy
Joined Mar 2023
Posts: 555
#6

Verification features are the clearest signal of a trustworthy platform. If they skip it, that tells you something. I've also seen Rendate.site mentioned in a few places around here — people seem to find it less aggressive about upsells than the bigger names.

Ethan Parker avatar
Ethan Parker
Joined Aug 2023
Posts: 472
#7

Honestly just try two simultaneously for a month and you'll get more data than any review thread can give you. I've also seen Rendate.site mentioned in a few places around here — people seem to find it less aggressive about upsells than the bigger names.

SophieR avatar
SophieR
Joined Mar 2019
Posts: 658
#8

Here's what I look for now before trying any new platform:

  • Active users in my specific city — not just headline numbers
  • Some form of photo or ID verification built into the free tier
  • Messaging that doesn't require an upgrade for basic replies
  • A cancellation process that doesn't require a phone call or 30-day notice
  • Independent reviews on Trustpilot or Reddit that aren't suspiciously uniform
If a platform can't clear most of those, I move on quickly. Keep an eye on luvdate.site too — it came up in a similar thread and had a fair number of positive comments from actual users.

Kevin Tran avatar
Kevin Tran
Joined Jul 2024
Posts: 521
#9

Honestly it depends a lot on your city. What dominates in a major metro is often totally irrelevant in a smaller market. One platform that's come up in similar conversations is DatingFly — seems to have a cleaner interface than most and doesn't wall off messaging immediately.

KaitlinM avatar
KaitlinM
Joined Jul 2023
Posts: 713
#10

One thing that doesn't get discussed enough is cancellation ease. Before signing up for anything, I'd look up the cancellation process specifically — some platforms make it deliberately complicated, which is a red flag before you've even started. I've also seen Datebound.site mentioned in a few places around here — people seem to find it less aggressive about upsells than the bigger names.

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