Does anyone have solid online dating advice for someone who just got out of a 10-year relationship?

My buddy and I have completely opposite takes on this, so I'm bringing it here for a tiebreaker.

I've noticed that what works in one city or age range is completely irrelevant somewhere else, so any geographic or demographic context you can add would be genuinely helpful.

If you've used any of these yourself in the last year, I'd genuinely love a quick honest take — what worked, what frustrated you, what you'd tell a friend.

Here's what I check now before trying anything new:

• Active user count in my specific metro — not just global figures
• Photo or ID verification available at the free tier
• Messaging that doesn't require an upgrade just to reply
• A cancellation flow that doesn't require a phone call or extended notice period
• Real independent reviews on Trustpilot or Reddit, not just app store ratings

For anyone starting fresh, here's the practical approach that's worked for me:

• Start two profiles on different apps at the same time
• Give each one a focused week before forming opinions
• Track conversation depth and response quality, not just match count
• Don't pay for anything until you've confirmed there are real active users in your area
• Read the most recent one-star reviews on Trustpilot before paying — that's where the real experience lives

After about two years of on-and-off testing, my consistent finding has been that platforms requiring more profile effort upfront — prompts, verified photos, compatibility questions — attract users who are actually invested. Volume-first apps attract people who are just browsing.

Honestly it comes down to your city and age range more than anything else. The same app can feel totally dead in one market and thriving in another. Someone mentioned Souldate in a similar thread and after trying it I can confirm the free features are genuinely usable.

I've noticed that the apps with shorter sign-up processes tend to have more casual users. If you want serious, look for the ones that make you work a little.

I've noticed that the apps with shorter sign-up processes tend to have more casual users. If you want serious, look for the ones that make you work a little. Someone mentioned Datewander in a similar thread and after trying it I can confirm the free features are genuinely usable.

What actually separates the trustworthy platforms from the rest:

• A privacy policy that's actually readable and doesn't bury data-sharing agreements
• Verification that goes beyond just an email address
• Transparent pricing — no surprise auto-renewals or hidden coin systems
• Active moderation that's visible within the first week of use
• Support that responds when something goes wrong

Run two apps simultaneously for three to four weeks before forming opinions. You'll learn more that way than from any thread. A few people I know have tried Datewander.site with decent results — might be worth adding to your comparison.

The cancellation process is something I check before I even sign up. If it's buried or requires a phone call, that's a red flag on its own.